Thoughts of Lucas

Now that I am a mom part of my mind is always consumed by thoughts of Lucas. Lately I have been feeling like after I have a visit or conversation with someone, my mind wasn't fully there and I wasn't giving that person my undivided attention. If I have done this to you I apologize. I don't realize until many hours later. This was brought to my attention on the phone today with my Mom, when I couldn't recall an answer to a question that I had asked her. Who does that?? In my defense I was listening to Lucas wake up from his nap, and in the midst of going to check on him. What do you do when you have more kids? Does every kid take up part of your brain and then there are no parts left for other things?

I wonder if all Moms feel this way, or if it will be like this forever.

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Terry is kicking me off the computer to do something much less important. Boooo. To be continued.....

Vengeance

The spider came back today....just the same as he did yesterday on Lucas' blanket. I was ready for him this time. He might have been moving a bit slower since the loss of his leg. I got him with my book and made sure he was dead. I am absolutely certain it was the same spider. YUCK.

SPIDER!!!

Lucas and I just had a very traumatic experience. I was playing with Lucas on the floor on his blanket when out of nowhere a spider comes crawling across towards us. AHHHHHH! I freaked out, froze for a second, and then scooped up Lucas whilst frantically trying to find something to kill it with. I had lots of Lucas toys but I didn't want to use those, so my coffee table PostSecret book seemed like a good spider-killer. Smashed the book down on the blanket and took a deep breath. Lucas was probably thinking "What in the blue blazes just happened? I must have been in very grave danger for Mom to freak out like that." Just wait until he's three and picking up spiders and worms and showing them to me....and then keeping them as pets. Can't wait.

So I called Terry to tell him about the spider and inquire about spider traps...which I am searching on the internet about right now. I don't want to hear about spiders biting me internet, just tell me what to do already!!! Now I feel like there are spiders crawling on me.....EEEEEEEEEEE! I guess I need some sort of sticky trap to catch them. I will get on that pronto.

So after I got off the phone with Terry I grabbed some kleenex to go get the spider, and I go to lift up the book off the blanket, AND THE SPIDER HAS ESCAPED!!!!!!! DISASTER!!!

SO NOW I KNOW THERE IS A SPIDER ROAMING AROUND IN HERE. Annoying. I think I might have got one of his legs with my book, so it is probably a seven-legged spider. Take that spider.

NKOTB

Andy miraculously got free tickets to the New Kids concert and asked me to go tonight. I didn't know if I was going to go or not, Lucas has been kind of fussy lately and is probably getting my cold, but he seemed to be better today so good thing I went.

We were a bit late and missed some of the Jabawockees....wish we would have seen the whole thing and I will definitely go see them if they ever come back to Saskatoon.

Hearing the New Kids brought me back to when I was probably about 8 or 9....listening to New Kids tapes in my pink and purple ghetto. I remember they sang Happy Birthday on one of their albums and I cried when I listened to it because I thought they were singing just for me. What a loser.

Every fan of the New Kids, or any boy band for that matter, always has a favourite. Mine was Johnathan. I even named my doll that I got for Christmas one year after him. He has shuffled down in the rankings after his performance tonight to dead last. He kind of faded into the background and didn't do much...didn't seem like he really wanted to be there. I'm sure all of the other New Kids were super psyched to be in Saskatoon though. I know Donnie was, he said Saskatoon a bunch of times. It must have been his job to memorize how to pronounce it and then say it lots to make us feel special. Joey, Jordan and Donnie were awesome. Highlights include Jordan Knight with a billowing white shirt being blown by fans onstage, then ripping his shirt open and stroking his body. Strange.....

I also could have done without all of the sentimental ballads. I don't remember any of those. And I could have definitely done without the video montage of "the ones we have lost" aka celebrities that have died. I doubt that the New Kids were close to Kurt Cobain, Biggie, Toupac or Heath Ledger. Very strange.....

Donnie Wahlberg got me thinking about Mark Whalberg which got me thinking about my top 5. The soccer girls have always had this thing where you make your list of top 5 celebrity guys. Mark Wahlberg is in my top 5. So is Jason Statham. Crank High Voltage comes out on April 17th......

River Run

Went for a run today with some hardcores. I didn't think I was ready for a 30 minute run yet but it wasn't so bad. Maybe it was and I have already forgotten. Having a baby does a number on your body and then from what I've heard it's never the same again. It felt like my leg bones were grinding against my pelvis about 10 minutes into the run. Google will hopefully tell me what to do about that. I will have to do that way more often if I am even going to have a hope for being in shape for outdoor, let alone nationals in the fall. It's going to be a battle.

New favourite song of the moment: The Best Day - Taylor Swift

Dancing with Lucas while he falls asleep on my shoulder is my new favourite thing. He is great.

Saskatoon is dirty

Went for an awesome walk today with Lucas. But before that I woke up at 5 am with an achy fevery cold. Awesome. I think the fresh air helped though. I just hope that Lucas doesn't get it, but the chances of him not getting it are probably slim. Watching movies with warm tea and staying home will hopefully be the cure.

Saskatoon is gross and dirty in April. Everything is muddy and dusty and gross. I didn't get attacked by a machete-wielding psycho on my walk so that's good news.

picture for today

first post

I should have started this long ago. I want to use this as a journal for myself to remember life with Lucas while he's little, but not all about Lucas, this is my blog not his. Now I am picturing him at a computer writing blog entries. Post #1: I have my mom and dad wrapped around my tiny finger. Post #2: I am totally going to explode through my diaper later and then again in the bathwater.

If no one reads this, good. If they do, whatevs. Something you should probably know before you start reading is that I get off topic....a lot. Just so you have fair warning.

Today was a great day. Lucas slept well again last night. He's starting to go to bed at 9 and up at 7. Fine by me. Gives me a little time to bug Terry in the evenings. I have it pretty good I know, a little guy who sleeps through the night and has since he was 2 months old. I am trying to savor it while I can, I hear that all of it could end in a heartbeat when he starts teething and what not. I don't do well without sleep, which I recall in the first two months of having a newborn was one of the hardest things to deal with. It puts you on edge...things that you would normally be able to handle no problem almost make you have a nervous breakdown when you are going on 3 hours of sleep.

Right, I was writing about my day.....got up, changed and fed Lucas, pumped a bottle. That's pretty much my morning routine these days. I also know I am very lucky in the fact that Lucas will take both bottle and breast, and has for some time. Gives me the freedom to actually leave the house and not have him attached to me at all times. Lets me enjoy some, but not all of course, of the things I liked to do by myself before I was a mom. Like play soccer. I have a playoff game tonight at 8. Really looking forward to it, as I do all of my soccer games. But tonight we play a good team, a rarity in our sad league, which is always more fun. Means I actually have to focus on what I should be doing out there, rather than goofing off and laughing about how a girl just toe-punted the ball by me and is now on a breakaway...but I know she won't score because she's brutal and Barb (our goalie) has got my back. Can't wait.

Again....supposed to be writing about my day. Showered and got ready, which is always a toss up if I am able to do it in a reasonable amount of time without Lucas wanting to be picked up and bounced around. How on earth am I ever going to do it when I have to go back to work? Good thing I won't have to answer that question until at least November. My parenting philosophy so far is if Lucas cries, pick him up and give him a hug. Do whatever he wants you to do. Obviously this is not going to fly once he gets older and starts to realize that he can use this to his advantage, but for now I think it's working. He seems to be a happy guy.

Had plans with mom today to go a few places. First stop, Tim Hortons. Tim Hortons is my salvation. My sister is going to hate me for saying this, but I just cannot make coffee up to my standards at home. I even have the Tim Hortons coffee and Tim Horton's hot chocolate (I like half and half most of the time) but it just doesn't measure up. Plus it's roll up the rim time and who can resist that. Even though yesterday was my first winning rim, I still have hope that I will roll my rim and there will be a car underneath. When I was in school I consumed a lot of coffee to keep me awake so I could study. I contemplated photocopying my degree and writing a letter on the back to Tim's for their help in obtaining it. Now I drink a lot of coffee to get me through the day when I have stayed up way too late trying to get a million things done while Lucas is sleeping. And by that I don't mean laundry and cleaning and things I should be doing, I mean reading Twilight and searching the internet for very important things like baby bunny ears and ridiculously expensive shoes that I can't afford and have nowhere to wear them.

Coffee then Walmart, Michaels and Safeway with mom. She is having Easter dinner at her house next weekend, which stresses her out a little. Understandable when you are having 20 people show up for dinner. She is only working half time right now, which she told me today means that the other half of the time she spends money. Not good when you are in recession. When she shows me something new that she just bought, she always adds at the end "But now I'm in recession." Right....

Now I am typing with Lucas asleep on my shoulder. A common occurence in the afternoon. If I put him down in his crib he will wake up, and if he wakes up that means he didn't have a nap, which means he will be really grumpy later, so sleeping on my shoulder while I type it is. I am really trying to enjoy each day that I have with him, because I know this year will go by way too fast. And when I have more kids it just won't be the same. While one naps I will be reading stories and playing with the other one. Sigh....that's all for now.