Boys

A lot of my close friends know that I have had a girl's baby name picked out since before I even thought about getting pregnant. No boy's name came to mind, only a girl's name. For some reason I dreamed about having a little baby girl, shopping for cute little stylish outfits and playing dolls and dress up all day.

When I was pregnant with Lucas, Terry and I decided to find out the sex of our baby via ultrasound. At our first ultrasound the radiologist said that they couldn't tell very well, but that the baby looked like a girl. He advised us not to paint our walls pink since he wasn't 100% sure, but from what he could tell the baby looked like a girl.

Wrong, dude.

So what did I do? I could not help but purchase a few of the cutest little girl outfits that I had walked by so many times. I psyched myself up that we were having a girl, even though I knew it wasn't for sure.

Next ultrasound came and the technician told us that we were definitely having a boy and this time she is %100 sure. Terry and I both got in the car afterwards and said "A boy???? Huh???" WE WERE NOT AT ALL DISAPPOINTED......it was just that we did not know what to do with this information. I programmed my brain into thinking that I was having a girl, and I could not process that there was a little boy in there. An amazing, wonderful, perfect little boy.

When we found out we were pregnant with Eli, we decided not to find out the sex of the baby. Because you know what, it just didn't matter. We (of course) absolutely fell in love with Lucas, and fell in love with playing trucks and dinosaurs and everything that comes along with little boys.

I think some people assume that because I had my girl name picked out, that I am somehow disappointed with two little boys, or that I will always long for a girl. Just recently I got asked if we were going to have a third child and "try for a girl". I don't feel done with two, and I'm sure we will probably go for three, although definitely not for a few years at least!!! If we do decide to try and have another baby, it will not be because the first two times around I didn't get what I wanted. It will be because I feel like three is the right number for us. Whether that is three little boys or two boys and a girl, it just won't matter.

This brings to mind a blog by a friend of mine on creating the "perfect family". You have no idea what your "perfect family" is going to be, and it may be entirely different from what you had planned. I know now that I was meant to be a mom of these two wonderful boys. And I wouldn't trade this life for all of the girls in the world.

Bedtime Stories

Bedtime is my favourite time.

And not because I finally get my kids out of my hair and have some time to myself. Ok well maybe it is about that just a little bit.....but mostly because I love actually putting them to bed. I love love love seeing my littlest Eli drift off to sleep in my arms, and cuddling him for a few extra minutes just to make sure he's asleep. There is really nothing more beautiful than a sleeping baby. I don't give two hoots if I am spoiling him and run the risk of him not being able to fall asleep on his own down the road. He is only this little once, and I am going to rock him and feed him to sleep as much as I damn well like!

And Lucas....is so much fun. Reading bedtime stories to him is one of my greatest joys. Some of the books we read are ones that my Mom and Dad read to me when I was little and they are still just as good. Our faves right now:

The Monster at the End of This Book - featuring lovable, furry old Grover. An old fave.

Little Owl Lost - by Chris Haughton. A new purchase, and so good!

Llama Llama Misses Mama - by Anna Dewdney (a gift from Auntie Amy!)

But No Elephants - by Jerry Smath. Another old fave.

Put Me In The Zoo - by Robert Lopshire

Richard Scarry's Best Mother Goose Ever. This book is so worn out from being read to me and my sister and brothers over and over and over.

However, Richard Scarry's Mother Goose has some questionable nursery rhymes. For example:

When I was a bachelor I lived by myself,
And all the bread and cheese I got I laid up on the shelf;
The rats and the mice, they made such a strife,
I had to go to London to buy me a wife.

The streets were so bad and the lanes were so narrow,
I was forced to bring my wife home in a wheelbarrow.
The wheelbarrow broke and my wife had a fall,
Down came wheelbarrow, little wife and all.

Buy me a wife?? Little wife and all?? Hmmmmm. We just skip those ones.

Another favourite of mine from when I was little is "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang". I picked that one off the bookshelf the other night to read it to Lucas and I didn't remember that there were guns and knives and bad guys in that story. Guns in a kid's book???? My how times have changed.

Lucas was kicking me as I was putting his pyjamas on tonight, and I threatened him with no bedtime stories if he kicked me again....then realized I would be disappointed if I didn't get to read him any stories. Thankfully it worked and we both went to bed happy.

What are your favourite kids books that Lucas and I should add to our repertoire?

Grateful

Yesterday as I was coming home and unloading the kids out of the van, our neighbour who I haven't seen in a while was coming up the sidewalk with his dog. He is normally a very jubilant and spirited guy, but yesterday I noticed right away that he was speaking quieter and walking slower than usual. I asked him if he and his wife were spending a lot of time up at the lake this winter, since I haven't seen him out in a while. He said "No....we don't go anywhere anymore, not since I have been sick. I was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in October." My heart sank and I didn't know what to say. "I'm so sorry to hear that" didn't seem like enough. We chatted a little longer before parting ways and I said "Nice to see you out, talk to you again soon". "I hope so" he said......

Ugggggh. That is so horrible.


I know this post is very cliché....living life to the fullest and seize the day and all of that....but I don't care.

When I came inside and had a chance to tell Terry what had happened, we had a discussion about how incredibly fortunate we are that we are healthy, and our families are healthy, and how much we take it all for granted.

It reminded me of a quote I had taped to one of my binders in highschool that I thought I would share: (It is kind of highschool-themed....but you get the jist)

Life isn’t about keeping score. It’s not about how many people call you and it’s not about who you’ve dated, are dating, or haven’t dated at all. It isn’t about who you’ve kissed, what sport you play, or which guy or girl likes you. It’s not about your shoes or your hair or the color of your skin or where you live or go to school. In fact, it’s not about your grades, money, clothes, or colleges that accept you or not. Life isn’t about if you have lots of friends, or if you are alone, and it’s not about how accepted or unaccepted you are. Life isn’t just about that.

But life is about who you love and who you hurt. It’s about how you feel about yourself. It’s about trust, happiness, and compassion. It’s about sticking up for your friends and replacing inner hate with love. Life is about avoiding jealousy, overcoming ignorance, and building confidence. It’s about what you say and what you mean. It’s about seeing people for who they are and not what they have. Most of all, it is about choosing to use your life to touch someone else’s in a way that could never have been achieved otherwise. These choices are what life is about.

Today I am thankful. I am thankful that I have a warm house and a loving partner. A family that is always there for me, whether it be on the phone or down the street. Two wonderful little boys. I am thankful for all that I have and the opportunities that have been presented to me in my life.

So now I am at a loss. What do you do for a neighbour who has cancer? How can I help?