Super Amber

OK so I kind of feel like a superhero today.....

Today was the first day (and only day until January) that I am entirely on my own. Terry is at work for a few days this week, leaving me to tackle taking care of two kids on my own for the first time.

I'm not sure what possessed me to schedule my first outing with two kids on my first day alone with them at home, but everything turned out alright. I ventured out today to see my friends at work and get some groceries for Christmas Eve dinner. Leaving the house with a newborn and a two year old in the wintertime is a marvelous accomplishment. For those of you with more kids who manage to leave the house from December to March....not sure how you do it. I think today was a fluke of nature, because none of the following happened while I was trying to leave the house:

-A wrestling match trying to put Lucas' jacket on (thankfully this has only happened a handful of times)
-Eli spitting up everywhere
-Seeing Lucas' poop face after I just put on all of his winter gear
-Forgetting an important item inside the house and realizing just as I get into the van
-A meltdown because a certain blanket is not allowed outside the house

These things are bound to happen, I'm just thankful none of them did today.

I would like to thank the following for helping me accomplish my first outing alone:

1. My iPhone. For entertaining Lucas while I am loading up Eli into the van and also while waiting in the drive thru line at Tim's. No matter what Terry says, you were certainly a worthwhile investment.

2. David from Safeway for taking my groceries out to my van.

3. Most of all, my two wonderful boys who were so well behaved while I got groceries.

Now both boys are having an afternoon nap. I should really be ironing, washing my floor, doing my dishes, vacuuming, etc etc etc. Relaxing on the computer while watching What Not to Wear seems like a good use of my time.

Looking forward to many more outings like today, but trying not to get too cocky.....I know not everyday will go as smoothly!!

Over and out....Merry Christmas.

Baby Eli

Eli John Terry Fusco was born December 11th, 2010 at 11:36 am. Weighing 9 lbs 5 oz, 21 inches long.

These past couple of days have been a complete whirlwind. My doctor made the decision to induce me on Friday, since Monday would have put me 2 weeks over my due date of November 29th. I went into the hospital Friday morning and they gave me Cervidil and sent me home to wait to go into labour. I started having contractions around 3 pm or so and at 8 pm we made the decision to go to the hospital. This delivery was completely different than Lucas. Things were very slow going this time and they really had to try a lot of things to get him to come out. The contractions were manageable at this point and when I had my last one right before my epidural kicked in at 3:30 am I thought I had felt the last of the pain I was going to feel from delivery. I was sadly mistaken. They broke my water at about 5 to get things going and when that still wasn't moving things along they gave me some Syntocin to make my contractions stronger. At this point I was still at around 5-6 cm and had been like that for hours. At about 11 am I started feeling very painful contractions only on one side, and when I told the nurse I could feel them she wasn't too concerned. She checked me and I was 9 cm. I think this sent her into a bit of a panic because she started grabbing stuff and moving things around. All of a sudden I had two really painful contractions and then PAIN LIKE I WAS GOING TO DIE. Earlier in the morning Terry and I had heard a woman down the hall sounding like she was in obvious pain and we were both glad I was not that lady. I was worse than that lady. I have never screamed so loud in my life. I told the nurse I had to push. I guess there was no doctor in the room (I pretty much blacked out at this point....so I had no idea), so she told me not to push. Too bad lady. The resident got there just in time and after 3 pushes he was out.

I was not expecting the pain at all and I think that's what made it so much worse. With Lucas, I didn't feel a thing and was expecting the same thing this time around. I felt everything. I know what all of you natural birth superheros are saying in your heads right now (Boooo hooo.....I felt every contraction right until the end) but I had no intention of being a superhero.

9 lbs 5 oz. The exact same as Lucas. We grow 'em big over here at the Fuscos.

Today he is great. Yesterday was absolutely terrible. In the hospital I got a few stretches of uninterrupted sleep while Eli slept in his little basket and I thought "Oh great, this baby won't need to be picked up all the time like Lucas was at the beginning". Again I was sadly mistaken.

Breastfeeding with Lucas was a huge struggle at the beginning. It was incredibly painful for almost 6 weeks. I really, really, really did not want to go through that again with this baby. I asked every nurse to come in and help me feed Eli while I was in the hospital and things seemed to be going OK. The Healthy in Home nurse came yesterday morning and also gave me some really good pointers. But nothing I tried seemed to be working, and everything hurt. Eli was very unsettled and looking back he was obviously hungry. He was very demanding and cried every time he was put down. He barely slept at all. I cried pretty much all day. I cried because I was overwhelmed that I would not be able to care for two kids. I cried because I was so busy trying to console Eli that I hardly got to be Lucas' Mom at all. I missed him when he was right there next to me in the room. I cried because I love Lucas so much and hadn't yet bonded with this new baby like I had with Lucas. I cried because Terry is an amazing husband and just kept everything going while I was having a meltdown. I cried because I was not going to be able to breastfeed if this is how things were going to be and that made me so sad. Then my milk came in. Last night at about 11 pm feeding Eli finally felt right and comfortable. He has been a completely different baby since then. He sleeps. He slept in his crib last night for 2 almost 4 hour stretches. He cuddles. He is calm and seems happy. Happy baby, happy Mom.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Relief.

I have a good friend who has always been very honest in the struggles she faced when she had her second baby. Why is that the exception to the rule? Whenever you ask a new mom how she is doing, 99% of the time she says "I'm great. Everything is going swimmingly and I love being a Mom." or something to that effect. I would guess we do this because it is a front we feel we have to put on to make it appear as if we know exactly what we are doing and of course we are not having any problems. I thought about this friend a lot yesterday and it really helped me get through the day. Knowing that someone else had felt what I had felt and I wasn't the only one. She sent me a very nice message last night that cheered me up immensely. Thank you!!!

Hopefully this new version of Eli is here to stay. I am very lucky that I have a lot of help and support these first few weeks. January is going to come as a bit of a shock when Terry goes back to work full time but I will try to enjoy and appreciate these first couple of weeks having so much family around. I'm sure there will be times when that feeling of being completely overwhelmed will return, and there will be times when there is so much to do I don't know which kid to look after first, but hopefully I can take everything as it comes. For now I am a happy Mom of two beautiful boys.