Yesterday as I was coming home and unloading the kids out of the van, our neighbour who I haven't seen in a while was coming up the sidewalk with his dog. He is normally a very jubilant and spirited guy, but yesterday I noticed right away that he was speaking quieter and walking slower than usual. I asked him if he and his wife were spending a lot of time up at the lake this winter, since I haven't seen him out in a while. He said "No....we don't go anywhere anymore, not since I have been sick. I was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in October." My heart sank and I didn't know what to say. "I'm so sorry to hear that" didn't seem like enough. We chatted a little longer before parting ways and I said "Nice to see you out, talk to you again soon". "I hope so" he said......
Ugggggh. That is so horrible.
I know this post is very cliché....living life to the fullest and seize the day and all of that....but I don't care.
When I came inside and had a chance to tell Terry what had happened, we had a discussion about how incredibly fortunate we are that we are healthy, and our families are healthy, and how much we take it all for granted.
It reminded me of a quote I had taped to one of my binders in highschool that I thought I would share: (It is kind of highschool-themed....but you get the jist)
Life isn’t about keeping score. It’s not about how many people call you and it’s not about who you’ve dated, are dating, or haven’t dated at all. It isn’t about who you’ve kissed, what sport you play, or which guy or girl likes you. It’s not about your shoes or your hair or the color of your skin or where you live or go to school. In fact, it’s not about your grades, money, clothes, or colleges that accept you or not. Life isn’t about if you have lots of friends, or if you are alone, and it’s not about how accepted or unaccepted you are. Life isn’t just about that.
But life is about who you love and who you hurt. It’s about how you feel about yourself. It’s about trust, happiness, and compassion. It’s about sticking up for your friends and replacing inner hate with love. Life is about avoiding jealousy, overcoming ignorance, and building confidence. It’s about what you say and what you mean. It’s about seeing people for who they are and not what they have. Most of all, it is about choosing to use your life to touch someone else’s in a way that could never have been achieved otherwise. These choices are what life is about.
Today I am thankful. I am thankful that I have a warm house and a loving partner. A family that is always there for me, whether it be on the phone or down the street. Two wonderful little boys. I am thankful for all that I have and the opportunities that have been presented to me in my life.
So now I am at a loss. What do you do for a neighbour who has cancer? How can I help?
Make meals, shovel the driveway, mow the lawn, bring cupcakes, offer to walk his dog, have your son wave hello, greet him as you usually would, treat him like he's still alive, ask him how his day is going and if he needs anything. Don't pretend nothing's wrong, don't avoid him because you don't know what to say. You'll probably feel awkward, your words will feel inadequate, but your sincerity will be appreciated.
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