Role Reversal

One month back at work and things are great!

My job is wonderful. I never dread going to work in the mornings, which is a good sign. I still dread actually getting out of bed....but I'm sure that never goes away. My co-workers are great, the hours are great, the actual work is interesting. Not sure I could ask for anything more! Well maybe more money....could always use more of that. Also, I don't have to wear the same thing every day!! I actually choose which clothes I want to wear!! Which means I need more of them, right?? Yes.

Working five days a week is wreaking havoc on my TV watching, keeping up with my blog (as you may have noticed), and keeping up with everything I need to do at my house. Lots of people have been asking me how Terry is handling things at home. Truthfully, so far he is doing a better job than I did! I think the expectation is that he would struggle. Maybe because he is a guy? Maybe because he hasn't been at home with two kids for an extended period of time? Who knows. All I know is that there is usually a meal prepared when I get home, my house is in good shape and my kids are happy and well looked after. Again, I can't ask for much more!

I could really get used to going to work and Terry being home. Unfortunately our bank accounts can only survive on one income for so long, so this arrangement will be short-lived. I think the boys are really enjoying the time with their Dad too. Dad is much better at playing trucks and doing crafts than Mom so I think Lucas is thrilled. The absolute best thing ever is coming home at the end of the day and having a little baby bouncing out of his high chair because he is so happy to see you. What a warm welcome home.

I am still nursing Eli three times a day and treasuring our time together before he will be completely weaned. It goes so fast! I am not stressing myself out about how much he is nursing vs. how much formula he is getting when I'm not here. I refuse to feel guilty about it. Three times a day is keeping me stress free while still letting me enjoy these last few months of nursing.

The countdown is on. About two weeks left before I turn 30. I don't even care really. I mean I love my birthday and all, having an excuse to indulge in some time to myself (and maybe a few gifts for myself!) but 30 isn't scary. Maybe after the day has come and gone I will feel differently....I'll let you know in a few weeks.

Playground update: 60 signatures!!! 40 to go. The hardest thing is finding time to go out and collect them. A lot of the signatures are people who don't have any interest in the playground, but are signing anyway. Great! And then there are people who have been in complete support and offering their time to help in any way they can, which is amazing!!! It also confirms to me that I'm not crazy, and there are others who feel the same way I do. I just have to keep at it, get my signatures and then move onto getting support from the community association. To be continued.....

Kienan

As I'm sure you are all aware, a 3 year old boy has been abducted from his home in Sparwood, BC. From his own bed, while he was sleeping. His parents put him to bed the night before and the next morning he was gone. News reports said that he was carrying numerous blankets with him.

This is my biggest personal fear. That one of my boys will be abducted in the middle of the night. Our windows and doors are locked every night and our house alarm with motion detector is set just to put my mind at ease so I can sleep knowing they are safe. Sometimes I am still kept awake thinking of the what if's.

My heart aches for this family. I look at Kienan's picture and he reminds me so much of Lucas. HE IS ONLY 3 YEARS OLD. That's so little. A scared little boy who probably just wants to go home. I don't even want to think about what the abductor's intentions were when he took him.

I have been checking the news religiously in hopes that he has been found, safe, sound and untouched.

PLEASE FIND THIS LITTLE BOY:

August

I'm tired of summer.

What a horrible thing to say. But it's true. Summer is exhausting.

I feel like all I do is pack and unpack bags to go places. I've got the 1-3 hour bag, the all-day bag, and don't even get me started on the overnight bags.....our whole house is pretty much packed up if we have to stay anywhere overnight. Which is why on Friday when I was packing our bags for the zillionth time, I wasn't nearly as excited as I should be for a weekend away at the lake. One of Terry's friends generously invited us out to their cabin for the weekend and all I could think of was....I just want to stay home.

But I would have missed out on one of the best weekends of the summer. We did all of the fun summer things one should do at the lake. Lucas played on the beach for two days straight. We had a fire and made smores. I went waterskiing for the first time since I was 12 (and got up on my first try.....applause please). I solidified my summer tan. It was an awesome weekend. A perfect way to say goodbye to summer. I know summer isn't over and the whole month of September is usually awesome for weather, but I'm calling it. My summer is over tonight. I just can't take any more fun!!!!

The whole month of August has been a complete blur. Chock-full of family get-togethers and events and much welcome company. But I am really looking forward to the routine of September. I am back full-time at work and I will miss Lucas and Eli terribly (as I do every day I work), but the routine of it all is comforting.

But they will be home with their Dad!!! Terry is taking the last 3 months of my mat leave and staying home with the boys. I'm so excited for Terry to have some time at home with his sons. I also think it will give him a deeper appreciation for what I did the whole time I was at home with them and how difficult it can be at times. But also how great.

Update on my quest for a better playground in our neighborhood:

I hoped to have 100 signatures on my petition for a preschool play structure to present at the community association meeting at the end of this month. Summer got in the way and I was only able to go out once to collect signatures. But 25 signatures in an hour isn't bad. I had 25 yeses and only one no. I may or may not be holding a grudge against my neighbor who didn't want to sign....we'll see how neighborly I will be if she ever comes over to borrow a cup of sugar. Just kidding. I hope to get out soon to collect more signatures, and I am still waiting to hear back from my city councilor and president of the community association. So far so good!!

The Beginning of Something Positive

As you may have read in my last post, my Grandpa recently passed away at the age of 92. Sitting at his funeral, and listening intently to the eulogy my aunt and uncle had prepared, it really hit home for me how much my Grandpa must have done for his small community of Harris, SK. It was very inspiring to hear the list of committees and boards he sat on and events he was involved in, and I'm sure I only know the tip of the iceberg. He went on to become a MLA of Rosetown-Biggar for four years, and had the opportunity to serve alongside Tommy Douglas. One of the highlights of his career was voting in universal heath care in Saskatchewan. Isn't that amazing?!?!?

Hearing about all he did for Harris gave me the impression that by living in a small community, a person becomes more invested and committed to making the place you live better.

It got me thinking about what I can do in my community. Saskatoon is no small town. Would anyone even notice? Is that the point? Where do I even start? I want to start making small but positive changes for my community but what can I do? I work full time and have a family, will I even have time for this?

I have been thinking about this ever since my grandpa's funeral. Then today an opportunity arose.

Our family recently moved to a new area of Saskatoon. We were very excited to learn that there is a neighbourhood pocket park being constructed right on our block. Around the corner from our house! I imagined taking my two preschool aged boys to the park after supper on summer evenings to tire them out before bedtime and meeting other young moms in my neighbourhood who were doing the same.

And then all of my park dreams were dashed. Today we saw the playground equipment that is being put in. It is a giant blue octopus for climbing and hanging with space saucers for swings. Nothing in the playground is appropriate or useable for pre-school or young elementary kids. No slide, no swings. Have you ever heard of a park without a slide or swings? I haven't. This was the first park of it's kind I had seen anywhere, why did it have to be in my neighbourhood?!?!

This made me angry but it also made me want to do something. I went home and did a little research on the City of Saskatoon website. In the Park Development Guidelines for Neighbourhood Pocket Parks, it specifically states that play structures are intended for preschool aged children. I want my preschool park!!!

Consider this my first step into the ring of community involvement:

I am going to petition the city to change the existing play structure to something more suitable for preschoolers.

Now I need a plan of action. I don't normally do things like this. In fact, I have never done anything like this. Sure I have coached a few community soccer teams in my day, but nothing like this. Do others in my community share the same view? I know there are a lot of very young families in my neighbourhood. I think a good place to start is petitioning my neighbours. I just hope they don't think of me as the annoying, crazy park lady from down the street!

This is the beginning of something positive. Even if I fail it will be a journey. I want to be active in my community and this is a great starting point. If anything it will be a way to meet my neighbours (even though they may not want to talk to me after they realize that I AM the crazy park lady from down the street). Can you make New Year's resolutions in July? Of course you can.

My resolution is to do positive things for my community. This is different from just being a positive, happy person. It is about taking action by doing. I hope to volunteer for my community association. Find out ways that families in my neighbourhood and others in Saskatoon need help and how to fit it all in to my already busy life. I want to do things big and small and recruit others along the way that will inspire me to continue.

In what ways do you get involved in your community? Any tips or ideas for others looking to get involved?

If you would like to sign my online petition to show your support for a more appropriate play structure, please click here.

Grandpa Stevens

My Grandpa passed away yesterday. He would have been 92 this August.


Grandpa was a great guy and will be truly missed. I have fond memories growing up of going out to Harris, SK to Grandma and Grandpa Stevens house. If you were lucky, Grandpa would take you for a ride on his riding lawnmower, or take you for an evening drive through the sand hills to see all of the white-tailed deer. He loved his grandchildren, and I am fortunate that he got to meet Lucas and Eli.

He was a smart, well-spoken gentleman. He would have loved to attend university but never had the opportunity to do so, having to stay at home and work on the farm. Grandpa was always happy to hear about our achievements at school, and encouraged us all to further our education.

Grandpa was elected MLA of Rosetown and served from 1960-1964. He sided with the NDP, and many times when I have been unsure of who to vote for, I have voted NDP just for Grandpa.

I went up to the hospital the day before he passed away, not knowing how soon he would be gone. He was no longer the strong, sharp guy I knew. I held his hand and told him how much we all loved him and how proud of him we are. I told him that he should be so proud of his family and all of his grandchildren. He wasn't able to speak to me, but he squeezed my hand and wiped a tear from his eye. Something that I will always remember.

In the days to come, I am looking forward to hearing many stories about my Grandpa from my aunts, uncles and relatives. He did a lot for his community and his family, and should be very proud of the life he lived.

SUMMER

We like the things that summer brings.

It brings the sun. It brings the heat. It brings the things we like to eat.



I LOVE SUMMER. I love how hot it is outside. I love that we can go to the spray park almost every day. I love not having to wear black pants to work on a + 30 day. Ha!

We have been spending our mornings outside at the park or at the pool, and then home for a popsicle, lunch and a nap. What a wonderful way to spend a summer day. I never want July to end!

Misson Impossible: Leaving the house

Our daycare is closed this week, so on the days I was at work, Terry was home with the boys. It was heaven. Grabbing my bag and walking out the door by myself those two mornings was wonderful. No daycare bag, no carseat, no kids. I listened to my own music in the car, and not Baby Beluga for the millionth time.

I think maybe those two days got me off my A-game because leaving the house this morning to go to the spray park was a complete and total disaster. Every day I am at home I try to sit down and read the paper while I eat breakfast. I am only successful maybe 1 out of every 10-15 times. This morning there was a milk accident and a still-tired grouchy baby so it was grabbing bites in between cleaning up and trying to get Lucas to eat his breakfast, which is more the usual.

Then the marathon to get out the door began. Frantically running from room to room trying to grab our swim gear. Dressing the boys in their matching summer outfits from their Grandma. Packing up sunscreen, bugspray, snacks, towels, hats, changes of clothes, diapers, etc and knowing that I am definitely forgetting something. Convincing Lucas that his Boppy (blanket) needs to stay at home. Terry calling as we are just about to lock the door. And all the while trying to juggle an extremely squirmy, active baby. By the time we are out the door, I am frazzled and frustrated. Need. Coffee. Now.

Once we were on the road it was smoooooooth sailing. As we were waiting in the drive-thru line for coffee, I spotted a girl probably in her early-ish twenties walk out of Tim Hortons with her iced coffee, happily chatting on her phone as she was getting into her cute little car. Perfectly styled hair, cute summer outfit and all. Probably off to meet her friends for a day of shopping or a casual summer walk by the river (totally making this all up in my head).

THAT USED TO BE ME.

Not going to lie.......I felt a twinge of jealousy that she seemed so carefree and independent. Those days are over for me, at least for a while. But I wouldn't trade her places. Not for a second. I know there will come a time when my kids are older when I will be able to leave the house alone again. And when that day comes, I will long for the days of listening to endless Baby Beluga in the van, and hearing Lucas beg to take his Boppy along for the ride.

Goodbye House

DISCLAIMER: This post is mostly for my benefit. So in a few years, I can look back and remember our first family home. This post is cheesy. Sentimental. And probably not very interesting if you are anyone other than me





This is my house. Except it is no longer my house. Just the house I have been living in for the past 4 or so years. When Terry and I moved in we looked like this:

So young....so naive. Hahaha. I remember very clearly when Terry and I were dating (and I may or may not have been trying to convince him to propose....) I told him that just because you are married doesn't mean you need to buy a house and have a bunch of kids right away. But once I had that ring on my finger I knew I had him trapped and my evil plan was successful. MUWAHAHAHA. (Evil laugh). Not even four years later we have a house and two kids.

Today, as we leave our house, we look like this:

Older. Tired-looking. Two kids in tow.

I am sad to leave our first family home. Not sad enough to stay mind you, but sad that we are leaving behind a great home with lots of wonderful memories. As I walk through our empty house from room to room I am reminded of all we are leaving behind.


This is the first room you see when you walk into our house. Our dining room is where we held all of our family dinners and set up our Christmas tree. But more often that that, this room was used for walking laps around the dining room table with tired babies in our arms, trying to put them to sleep. I'm sure Terry and I logged at least a thousand laps each.


Our kitchen (a.k.a. Amber's cupcake factory). I loved our kitchen, except for one thing. No room for a kitchen table!! I am very much looking forward to sitting around the table for many family suppers in our new house.

Our sunroom. The home of many late night gossip sessions with the soccer girls and countless summer suppers. It was so awesome to be able to have friends over in here and not have to worry about being loud and waking up the kids.



Backyard. A wonderful, finished, very private backyard. One of the things I will miss most as our new house presently looks out onto a pile of dirt. Home to backyard soccer games, ladder golf and summer afternoons in the paddling pool.


Family room. This is where we spent 90% of our time in this house. This picture was taken when we were trying to sell our house so there are no toys in sight. Usually this room is filled with the bright colors of kids toys and there are toy cars and teddy bears strewn everywhere. Just how I like it! There are too many good memories in this room to name. This is where Lucas took his first steps, where I nursed and nursed and nursed my babies while watching afternoon TV, where we were when we watched Canada win Olympic hockey gold and where important late night conversations were had between Terry and I.


As they say on MTV Cribs....this is where the magic happens. Mostly the magic of watching Sesame Street and Super Why at 7 am when Lucas crawls into our bed for morning snuggles. And the magic of watching Lucas give his little brother Eli tummy pats and head rubs and kisses as they lie there together. Not the magic you are thinking of....minds out of the gutter!!!


Lucas' big boy room. It was so fun to see how excited Lucas was to start sleeping in his 'big brother bed' once we knew Eli was on the way. A room that brings memories of bedtime stories, tea parties, and looking out the window holding Lucas and watching the garbage truck come by in the morning. The highlight of Lucas' day! There were a few times (okay more than a few!) where I could hear the sound of little feet getting out of bed to play instead of sleep. When I came upstairs to tell Lucas to get back to bed, all I could see was a flash of white blanket zooming across the hallway headed into our room. Sneaky little guy.


This is the room I will be the saddest to leave. This house, and this room, is where I brought my babies home. It is where I spent a lot of sleepless nights looking out the window, swaying my babies to sleep. Nursing and nursing and nursing in that chair. Looking in on my sweet babies fast asleep in their crib. Rocking and cuddling and trying to remember each tiny thing about my little guys because I knew that those first days and weeks would be so fleeting. Staring at their little faces and little feet and little hands in amazement and awe. Crying tears of frustration when things weren't going smoothly, and more often tears of absolute unbridled joy that I am so incredibly fortunate to be their Mom.

Goodbye house.

GAH!!!!

Where do I even begin......

We sold our house. And then we were homeless for a few stressful weeks and then we found a house and now we aren't homeless anymore. That's all. Oh and I started a new job somewhere in there. Oh and Eli started at daycare. Oh and I need a new van because mine got rear ended and then written off.

GAH!!!!

Moving is stressful and I am never doing it again. And by never I mean until I forget about how much this sucks right now. I am happy we are moving, don't get me wrong. It is time to leave this house and move on to something more suitable for our current lifestyle. It's the whole process of actually moving that sucks bigtime. Checking MLS every hour, looking at houses every evening, signing important documents, being on the phone with our realtor five or more times in a day, making big decisions, thinking about how long it will take to pay off our mortage. Those are the things I wish I could avoid.

Sidenote: I tend to watch shows on T.V. that mirror what I am going through in my life at the moment and right now I am all about HGTV and real estate shows. Million Dollar Listing is a favourite of mine (you know...because I can completely relate to being upset that my house went for 9.2 million instead of the 10.4 I had it listed for....). Anyway, one bazillionaire had a concierge dude that flew into Malibu to do all of that stuff for him and just buy him a house. I need one of those.

I am really excited to be in a new house, in a different neighborhood. We love our neighborhood right now, and it has been perfect for us thus far. But our needs are changing, and a new school, being close to the soccer centre and having tons of young families around is going to suit our needs much better for years to come. No pressure to spend your lives at the soccer centre boys......although Lucas' left foot is looking very promising for a future soccer star. Just saying....

My new job is WONDERFUL. I work with a lot of people I used to work with from my old job who had gone on to bigger and better things and now I am one of those people! We fill prescriptions for correctional institutions in Saskatchewan, Manitoba and Alberta. I am working two days a week right now, which is manageable. Eli is doing wonderfully at daycare. Taking a bottle and being good I hear, which takes away a lot of the stress of starting a new job when he is still so little. Hopefully as time goes on I will be able to streamline my morning routine a little. Getting up at 5:30 and feeling rushed to make it to work by 8 is a little ridiculous.

I have been totally slacking on my blog. Sorry guys. As you can see, things have been a bit nuts and I am lucky if I have any time at all to sit down on the computer. You would think that if there is a lot going on I would have tons to blog about!!

When it rains it pours

My. Life. Is. Crazy.

Why on earth does it seem like there is a lot of very important stuff going on over here and it is all at once???

We are in the process......the annoying, on your toes, at the ready to leave your spotless house any moment process.....of selling our house. Anyone who has ever sold a house knows what I am talking about. And if you are trying to sell a house with kids living in it.....good luck. I am constantly running around from room to room trying to put everything back in it's place. Meanwhile there is a little mess-maker following behind me making messes of everything I have just cleaned up. Not that I blame him....I'm sure little boys are somehow hard-wired to see a perfectly clean room and want to take out every toy and tiny object and leave them all over the floor.

We won. Terry and I finally came out victorious in the bottle battle with Eli. Thank you to my sister-in-law Deena for the wonderful advice about the Playtex Drop-ins. They are the only ones that worked!! I CAN HAVE A LIFE AGAIN. Insert sigh of relief here. Not that I want to be gallivanting all over town every night, but it is comforting to know that I can leave him and at least he will be fed. That Medela breast pump has been worth it's weight in GOLD I tell ya.

Along with all of this craziness, it was Terry's 30th birthday last week. 30th birthdays are like New Years Eve. You feel the pressure to do something extra special just because it's your 30th birthday and not your 29th or 31st. Our life is too crazy for any extravagant parties right now. Besides, Terry is not at all an extravagant party kind of guy. Myself on the other hand....well let's just say I might be celebrating my 30th birthday for the whole month of October. I'm sure there will be numerous gifts bought for myself (because you know.....I deserve it....) and a few nights out on the town juuuuuust to make sure I got enough partying in before I turn 30.

Anyway back to Terry.....we celebrated with a simple date night out just the two of us. Thank you ONCE AGAIN to my wonderful parents for their babysitting services. Terry likes gifts that he can actually use or that he really "needs". (Another area where we are very different. What do you mean I don't actually NEED another pair of heels/new jeans/a bunnyhug/more Lululemon??? Aren't those needs??). So I got him a new bike. Something he will use every day in the summer to bike to work and something that he really does need.

Happy 30th Terry!!