2011 Review

On this day last year, I was celebrating the fact that it had been four days since I had been puked on by my very new little baby. I was lamenting the fact that I felt more like a walking milk truck than a human being, and that getting out of the house daily with a newborn and 2 year old all in our winter gear was quite the challenge.

This year with both Terry and I working, our new challenges are getting out the door on time in the morning and making it through supper and bath time without collapsing from exhaustion.

2011 was a complete whirlwind. Craziness. I don't know how we even managed to make it through the year in one piece actually. In the spring we put our house up for sale. I would recommend to anyone just to win the lottery, buy your dream home, hire packers and movers and decorators, move in without lifting a finger, and then sell your old home when you are all moved out. If you are not a millionaire, that sucks. Because moving with two small children is the worst. Moving in general is the worst. I would like to say that I will never move again, but I am sure our needs will change as the boys get older and I will be complaining about how hard it is to keep my house clean in order to sell it when there are two very messy teenage boys around.
We are very happy in our new home, especially now that the basement is finished and the boys have a space to run around and play and we have a space to relax and watch movies.

In May I returned to work part time at a new and very exciting job. I had mixed feelings about returning to work when Eli was only 5 months old, but it was so worth it.

Starting in September, Terry went off work for the last 3 months of my maternity leave to stay home with the boys and I went up to full time at work. This was so great for many reasons. Most importantly that I got to leave the house in the mornings by myself knowing the boys were going to have a lot of fun with their Dad while I was at work. There were lots of days when I would come home to find everyone still in their pyjamas. I guess when you are too busy playing Play Doh, trucks, dinosaurs and Transformers, there is no time to get dressed. Terry and I tend to run our respective ships a little differently when we are home without the other, but I think it was great for the boys and for Terry to have this time together. Lucas still tells me he wants me to go to work so he can stay home with Eli and Daddy. Thanks Lucas, love you too.

This fall I took up the task of petitioning the city to install a better play structure in our neighborhood park. I am very proud to say that I have word from the city that there will be another play structure added, with construction starting in the spring. SUCCESS. I'll believe it when I see it. It had better not be a giant dragonfly shaped piece of junk to match the giant praying mantis piece of junk that is already there. I was assured that the community association will be consulted as to what kind of play equipment will be added to the park and you can bet that I will be at that meeting with bells on. BELLS.

2011 was also a really sad year for our family. My Grandpa Stevens passed away in July and my cousin Kory passed away very unexpectedly in October. I know we are all still grieving.

The last few months of the year will always be crazy busy in our house. We celebrated two birthdays leading up to the holidays, and hosted the Fusco's for Christmas. I got to spend some time with my beautiful niece Ottavia, and Lucas and Eli loved having Grandma Jackie and Grandpa John stay at their house. I think Lucas and Ottavia really hit it off. Lucas told me the other day that he loves his little brother Eli, and now he wants a little sister "like Ottavia". OK Lucas, I'll see what I can do. You might have to wait a while for that one. Hosting Christmas was so fun, spending late nights playing Scattergories (I am pretty sure my father in law John won for best answers....) and visiting with everyone.

Terry and I rang in the New Year watching the World Juniors on the couch and having our usual conversation about what 2012 will bring. My hopes for 2012 are that things will slow down a little bit around here (is that asking too much?!?!?), so we can relax and enjoy. Not too much planned for this year and definitely no resolutions. I conquered all of my resolutions last year so I figure I am good for at least another year. Maybe just one resolution to get Eli's baby book done. You guys, Lucas can start kinder-soccer this summer and I can barely contain my excitement. One of the many, many things to look forward to in 2012.

My boys

Lucas is 3. THREE!!!!

We had so much fun at his birthday party. We being everyone but Eli. As it turns out, he is not such a big fan o f crowds. He is, however, a big fan of cupcakes as you can see.

Dear Lucas,

I can't believe you are three. You are getting so big so fast. I am so proud of the little boy that you are becoming, and Eli could not ask for a better big brother. I told you that you are Eli's "hero" and that means he wants to be just like you. You told me "Mommy, you are my hero" and made me cry. You are so proud of your little brother Eli, and I know you two are going to be best buddies and drive your mother nuts. You are such a smart, caring and wonderful three year old and you are getting more fun each and every day. I love you so much Lucas, Happy 3rd Birthday!

P.S. Lucas don't worry, we will conquer this potty thing together. I know you can do it!

- Mom



Eli's first birthday party was a little more subdued. Chicken Mushroom Rigatoni, Teddy Bear Cupcakes and presents. He was in a much better mood for his own party, and we had a nice relaxing time. He remembered from Lucas' party that he likes cupcakes, and that's pretty much all he ate for supper. Only allowed on your birthday. Pulling off two birthday parties before Christmas is going to be difficult every year!


Dear Eli,

My littlest guy is not so little anymore. Eli, my favourite thing is when I come to get you out of your crib in the morning and you give me the biggest hug and nestle your head right into my shoulder. You don't hug anyone else like that. Just Mom. You just learned to give kisses, shake your head no and wave goodbye. No walking yet, but please don't hurry! You love your brother Lucas so much, and are off like a rocket to his room when I ask you where he is and to go wake him up for the day. Every time I look at you with your sweet brown eyes I melt just a little. You are my sweet little boy, please never change or get big! Happy 1st Birthday Eli, we love you so much.

- Mom

Christmas baking 2011

It's coming. And I'm not ready. Not by a long shot. Gifts to wrap, goodies to bake, last minute shopping to do. House to clean, and on and on and on.

Whoever planned for my two boys to have their birthdays in the weeks before Christmas wasn't thinking. How inconsiderate for them both to have birthdays so late in the year and put me behind my Christmas schedule.

My Christmas baking list for this year:

1) Butter Tart Bars - they were such a hit last year that they were gone well before Christmas and I had to make another batch

2) Salted Caramel Buttercrumb Bars - Shortbread + salted caramel = heaven.

3) Samoa bark - this one was tricky and I would do a few things differently if I made it again, but still delicious

4) Peanut Butter Marshmallow Squares - so easy and so good.

5) Peanut Butter Cup Cookies - a peanut butter cup wrapped in a peanut butter cookie. Can't go wrong.

6) Peppermint Brownies - another Christmas staple (the recipe for this one actually came from a BOOK.....so there is no link...sorry)

7) Homemade Oreos - I know these aren't very "Christmasy" but who cares

8) Rolo Pretzel Bites - Easy!

I am about 3/4 done. Just the brownies and buttertart bars left to go. I really don't think I am going to get around to baking sugar cookies this year. Which is too bad because they are my favourite. They are just so time consuming.

Merry Christmas!

Just a quick note:

I am currently sitting in Starbucks at the West Edmonton Mall sipping coffee, listening to Christmas carols and reading Ellen's new book and really, really enjoying this time to myself (I am here for work this week mostly.....and also to shop....obviously.). I just looked out the window and saw a Mama snuggling a still sleepy 1 year old and really, really miss my boys.

Story of my life: I want both. I want to be with my kids every second of the day because I don't want to miss a thing and I love them in an indescribable way. I want to go to work and love and appreciate my job every single day. I want to cherish this time to myself as it is few and far between, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

It is impossible to do all of these things at once, but I think I'm close!!

More posts to come.....

Remembering Kory

Wednesday October 19th, my 21 year old cousin passed away suddenly. The following weekend was a blur. Everything seemed like a really bad dream. And now, while the rest of us go back to some sense of normalcy, for his mom and dad (my aunt and uncle) and his sisters, things will never be quite the same. Speaking about this so briefly seems as if it is just a footnote, when in fact, I am doing my best to be brief out of respect to my family and their privacy. After something so tragic, I look at both of my baby boys and hug them a little tighter.

Goodbye 20's!

Falling asleep on the couch the minute after I put Eli to bed has become a Friday night ritual. I think it is a side effect of a long week. In this case, it has been a long couple of weeks with no reprieve on the weekends. As soon as the thought crossed my mind that things might been slowing down around here (finally!) they seem to pick right back up again. God help us when Terry returns to work and we are both working full time. Probably best if I just don't think about it.

For my 30th birthday two weeks ago, my awesome friends whisked me away for a girls night out at the cabin. I am so fortunate to have such an amazing group of friends who would organize a weekend away for me. Even though I was hesitant about a night away from the boys, it was a perfect way to say goodbye to my 20's. 30 is not the new 20. We were all asleep by midnight. My birthday celebrations lasted all weekend and by the time my actual birthday rolled around on Monday I was all birthday'd out! Thank you thank you thank you to all of my friends and family for an amazing 30th.

Playground update: Last week I brought my completed petition to the community association meeting, and spoke about why there is a need for a preschool play structure in our park. I was prepared and organized, thanks in part to my advisor Terry, and the information I presented was well received by the community association and president. The community association is drafting me a letter of support, which I will include in my report to city council. I hope to present my report along with my petition in early November. I have also been in touch with the community consultant from the city, who has been extremely helpful in answering my questions and keeping me informed of the park review process. The review process will take some time, but hopefully we can work together this winter and if all goes well, maybe we will have a playground in the spring!!

Defiance

I think the terrible twos have hit us a little late. I thought we avoided them somehow. But no, Lucas has figured out how to be defiant at exactly the perfect moment. In public.

I enrolled Lucas in gymnastics, his first unparented activity. The first two classes we attended, I watched from the sidelines as Lucas sat attentively and listened to the teacher and actively participated in class. I was so proud of him, and felt sorry for the mom and dad who could not for the life of them keep their child involved in class. Then I became that mom that all of the other parents are silently judging. I'm not sure what happened in the last two classes, but all of a sudden Lucas has just up and refused to do what he is supposed to. Last week I chocked it up to being tired and grumpy from not having a nap that day. But today there was no such excuse. It is incredibly frustrating this defiance thing, and I tried multiple approaches today with no success. A friend of mine blogged about a book that helped her ("Honey I Wrecked the Kids") that I just might have to pick up for myself.

My favourite act of defiance so far is the going limp strategy. Taking Lucas up to the line to go do a somersault and all of a sudden he has no bones or muscles in his body to hold him up. UGGGGHHH. And then he gives me the look. The "You can't make me do anything look". All I am thinking at this moment is "DO AN F-ING SOMERSAULT KID SO I CAN GO SIT BACK DOWN. NOW." Somersaults. These are the stresses in my life right now. Trivial.

Lucas has been a wonder-child. We have had it really easy with him and I know that. So hopefully this is a minor blip and we can continue on thinking we are the best parents ever. Ha.

I know already Eli is going to give us a run for our money, and we are not prepared. I might actually have to baby proof this time. The kid makes a mad dash for the stairs the moment the baby gate is removed. For a second I think we are having a nice bonding moment as I hold him and gaze into his big brown eyes, until he sees something he is interested in over my shoulder, at which point he starts clawing at my face trying to get me to move out of the way so he can get to the thing he is absolutely not supposed to have. Nightlights and computer cords mostly.

Playground update: 24 signatures to go!! I meet with the community association next week to get their support and after that it is city council. Stay tuned.....I know you are all on the edge of your seats.

Role Reversal

One month back at work and things are great!

My job is wonderful. I never dread going to work in the mornings, which is a good sign. I still dread actually getting out of bed....but I'm sure that never goes away. My co-workers are great, the hours are great, the actual work is interesting. Not sure I could ask for anything more! Well maybe more money....could always use more of that. Also, I don't have to wear the same thing every day!! I actually choose which clothes I want to wear!! Which means I need more of them, right?? Yes.

Working five days a week is wreaking havoc on my TV watching, keeping up with my blog (as you may have noticed), and keeping up with everything I need to do at my house. Lots of people have been asking me how Terry is handling things at home. Truthfully, so far he is doing a better job than I did! I think the expectation is that he would struggle. Maybe because he is a guy? Maybe because he hasn't been at home with two kids for an extended period of time? Who knows. All I know is that there is usually a meal prepared when I get home, my house is in good shape and my kids are happy and well looked after. Again, I can't ask for much more!

I could really get used to going to work and Terry being home. Unfortunately our bank accounts can only survive on one income for so long, so this arrangement will be short-lived. I think the boys are really enjoying the time with their Dad too. Dad is much better at playing trucks and doing crafts than Mom so I think Lucas is thrilled. The absolute best thing ever is coming home at the end of the day and having a little baby bouncing out of his high chair because he is so happy to see you. What a warm welcome home.

I am still nursing Eli three times a day and treasuring our time together before he will be completely weaned. It goes so fast! I am not stressing myself out about how much he is nursing vs. how much formula he is getting when I'm not here. I refuse to feel guilty about it. Three times a day is keeping me stress free while still letting me enjoy these last few months of nursing.

The countdown is on. About two weeks left before I turn 30. I don't even care really. I mean I love my birthday and all, having an excuse to indulge in some time to myself (and maybe a few gifts for myself!) but 30 isn't scary. Maybe after the day has come and gone I will feel differently....I'll let you know in a few weeks.

Playground update: 60 signatures!!! 40 to go. The hardest thing is finding time to go out and collect them. A lot of the signatures are people who don't have any interest in the playground, but are signing anyway. Great! And then there are people who have been in complete support and offering their time to help in any way they can, which is amazing!!! It also confirms to me that I'm not crazy, and there are others who feel the same way I do. I just have to keep at it, get my signatures and then move onto getting support from the community association. To be continued.....

Kienan

As I'm sure you are all aware, a 3 year old boy has been abducted from his home in Sparwood, BC. From his own bed, while he was sleeping. His parents put him to bed the night before and the next morning he was gone. News reports said that he was carrying numerous blankets with him.

This is my biggest personal fear. That one of my boys will be abducted in the middle of the night. Our windows and doors are locked every night and our house alarm with motion detector is set just to put my mind at ease so I can sleep knowing they are safe. Sometimes I am still kept awake thinking of the what if's.

My heart aches for this family. I look at Kienan's picture and he reminds me so much of Lucas. HE IS ONLY 3 YEARS OLD. That's so little. A scared little boy who probably just wants to go home. I don't even want to think about what the abductor's intentions were when he took him.

I have been checking the news religiously in hopes that he has been found, safe, sound and untouched.

PLEASE FIND THIS LITTLE BOY:

August

I'm tired of summer.

What a horrible thing to say. But it's true. Summer is exhausting.

I feel like all I do is pack and unpack bags to go places. I've got the 1-3 hour bag, the all-day bag, and don't even get me started on the overnight bags.....our whole house is pretty much packed up if we have to stay anywhere overnight. Which is why on Friday when I was packing our bags for the zillionth time, I wasn't nearly as excited as I should be for a weekend away at the lake. One of Terry's friends generously invited us out to their cabin for the weekend and all I could think of was....I just want to stay home.

But I would have missed out on one of the best weekends of the summer. We did all of the fun summer things one should do at the lake. Lucas played on the beach for two days straight. We had a fire and made smores. I went waterskiing for the first time since I was 12 (and got up on my first try.....applause please). I solidified my summer tan. It was an awesome weekend. A perfect way to say goodbye to summer. I know summer isn't over and the whole month of September is usually awesome for weather, but I'm calling it. My summer is over tonight. I just can't take any more fun!!!!

The whole month of August has been a complete blur. Chock-full of family get-togethers and events and much welcome company. But I am really looking forward to the routine of September. I am back full-time at work and I will miss Lucas and Eli terribly (as I do every day I work), but the routine of it all is comforting.

But they will be home with their Dad!!! Terry is taking the last 3 months of my mat leave and staying home with the boys. I'm so excited for Terry to have some time at home with his sons. I also think it will give him a deeper appreciation for what I did the whole time I was at home with them and how difficult it can be at times. But also how great.

Update on my quest for a better playground in our neighborhood:

I hoped to have 100 signatures on my petition for a preschool play structure to present at the community association meeting at the end of this month. Summer got in the way and I was only able to go out once to collect signatures. But 25 signatures in an hour isn't bad. I had 25 yeses and only one no. I may or may not be holding a grudge against my neighbor who didn't want to sign....we'll see how neighborly I will be if she ever comes over to borrow a cup of sugar. Just kidding. I hope to get out soon to collect more signatures, and I am still waiting to hear back from my city councilor and president of the community association. So far so good!!