Christmas baking 2011

It's coming. And I'm not ready. Not by a long shot. Gifts to wrap, goodies to bake, last minute shopping to do. House to clean, and on and on and on.

Whoever planned for my two boys to have their birthdays in the weeks before Christmas wasn't thinking. How inconsiderate for them both to have birthdays so late in the year and put me behind my Christmas schedule.

My Christmas baking list for this year:

1) Butter Tart Bars - they were such a hit last year that they were gone well before Christmas and I had to make another batch

2) Salted Caramel Buttercrumb Bars - Shortbread + salted caramel = heaven.

3) Samoa bark - this one was tricky and I would do a few things differently if I made it again, but still delicious

4) Peanut Butter Marshmallow Squares - so easy and so good.

5) Peanut Butter Cup Cookies - a peanut butter cup wrapped in a peanut butter cookie. Can't go wrong.

6) Peppermint Brownies - another Christmas staple (the recipe for this one actually came from a BOOK.....so there is no link...sorry)

7) Homemade Oreos - I know these aren't very "Christmasy" but who cares

8) Rolo Pretzel Bites - Easy!

I am about 3/4 done. Just the brownies and buttertart bars left to go. I really don't think I am going to get around to baking sugar cookies this year. Which is too bad because they are my favourite. They are just so time consuming.

Merry Christmas!

Just a quick note:

I am currently sitting in Starbucks at the West Edmonton Mall sipping coffee, listening to Christmas carols and reading Ellen's new book and really, really enjoying this time to myself (I am here for work this week mostly.....and also to shop....obviously.). I just looked out the window and saw a Mama snuggling a still sleepy 1 year old and really, really miss my boys.

Story of my life: I want both. I want to be with my kids every second of the day because I don't want to miss a thing and I love them in an indescribable way. I want to go to work and love and appreciate my job every single day. I want to cherish this time to myself as it is few and far between, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

It is impossible to do all of these things at once, but I think I'm close!!

More posts to come.....

Remembering Kory

Wednesday October 19th, my 21 year old cousin passed away suddenly. The following weekend was a blur. Everything seemed like a really bad dream. And now, while the rest of us go back to some sense of normalcy, for his mom and dad (my aunt and uncle) and his sisters, things will never be quite the same. Speaking about this so briefly seems as if it is just a footnote, when in fact, I am doing my best to be brief out of respect to my family and their privacy. After something so tragic, I look at both of my baby boys and hug them a little tighter.

Goodbye 20's!

Falling asleep on the couch the minute after I put Eli to bed has become a Friday night ritual. I think it is a side effect of a long week. In this case, it has been a long couple of weeks with no reprieve on the weekends. As soon as the thought crossed my mind that things might been slowing down around here (finally!) they seem to pick right back up again. God help us when Terry returns to work and we are both working full time. Probably best if I just don't think about it.

For my 30th birthday two weeks ago, my awesome friends whisked me away for a girls night out at the cabin. I am so fortunate to have such an amazing group of friends who would organize a weekend away for me. Even though I was hesitant about a night away from the boys, it was a perfect way to say goodbye to my 20's. 30 is not the new 20. We were all asleep by midnight. My birthday celebrations lasted all weekend and by the time my actual birthday rolled around on Monday I was all birthday'd out! Thank you thank you thank you to all of my friends and family for an amazing 30th.

Playground update: Last week I brought my completed petition to the community association meeting, and spoke about why there is a need for a preschool play structure in our park. I was prepared and organized, thanks in part to my advisor Terry, and the information I presented was well received by the community association and president. The community association is drafting me a letter of support, which I will include in my report to city council. I hope to present my report along with my petition in early November. I have also been in touch with the community consultant from the city, who has been extremely helpful in answering my questions and keeping me informed of the park review process. The review process will take some time, but hopefully we can work together this winter and if all goes well, maybe we will have a playground in the spring!!

Defiance

I think the terrible twos have hit us a little late. I thought we avoided them somehow. But no, Lucas has figured out how to be defiant at exactly the perfect moment. In public.

I enrolled Lucas in gymnastics, his first unparented activity. The first two classes we attended, I watched from the sidelines as Lucas sat attentively and listened to the teacher and actively participated in class. I was so proud of him, and felt sorry for the mom and dad who could not for the life of them keep their child involved in class. Then I became that mom that all of the other parents are silently judging. I'm not sure what happened in the last two classes, but all of a sudden Lucas has just up and refused to do what he is supposed to. Last week I chocked it up to being tired and grumpy from not having a nap that day. But today there was no such excuse. It is incredibly frustrating this defiance thing, and I tried multiple approaches today with no success. A friend of mine blogged about a book that helped her ("Honey I Wrecked the Kids") that I just might have to pick up for myself.

My favourite act of defiance so far is the going limp strategy. Taking Lucas up to the line to go do a somersault and all of a sudden he has no bones or muscles in his body to hold him up. UGGGGHHH. And then he gives me the look. The "You can't make me do anything look". All I am thinking at this moment is "DO AN F-ING SOMERSAULT KID SO I CAN GO SIT BACK DOWN. NOW." Somersaults. These are the stresses in my life right now. Trivial.

Lucas has been a wonder-child. We have had it really easy with him and I know that. So hopefully this is a minor blip and we can continue on thinking we are the best parents ever. Ha.

I know already Eli is going to give us a run for our money, and we are not prepared. I might actually have to baby proof this time. The kid makes a mad dash for the stairs the moment the baby gate is removed. For a second I think we are having a nice bonding moment as I hold him and gaze into his big brown eyes, until he sees something he is interested in over my shoulder, at which point he starts clawing at my face trying to get me to move out of the way so he can get to the thing he is absolutely not supposed to have. Nightlights and computer cords mostly.

Playground update: 24 signatures to go!! I meet with the community association next week to get their support and after that it is city council. Stay tuned.....I know you are all on the edge of your seats.

Role Reversal

One month back at work and things are great!

My job is wonderful. I never dread going to work in the mornings, which is a good sign. I still dread actually getting out of bed....but I'm sure that never goes away. My co-workers are great, the hours are great, the actual work is interesting. Not sure I could ask for anything more! Well maybe more money....could always use more of that. Also, I don't have to wear the same thing every day!! I actually choose which clothes I want to wear!! Which means I need more of them, right?? Yes.

Working five days a week is wreaking havoc on my TV watching, keeping up with my blog (as you may have noticed), and keeping up with everything I need to do at my house. Lots of people have been asking me how Terry is handling things at home. Truthfully, so far he is doing a better job than I did! I think the expectation is that he would struggle. Maybe because he is a guy? Maybe because he hasn't been at home with two kids for an extended period of time? Who knows. All I know is that there is usually a meal prepared when I get home, my house is in good shape and my kids are happy and well looked after. Again, I can't ask for much more!

I could really get used to going to work and Terry being home. Unfortunately our bank accounts can only survive on one income for so long, so this arrangement will be short-lived. I think the boys are really enjoying the time with their Dad too. Dad is much better at playing trucks and doing crafts than Mom so I think Lucas is thrilled. The absolute best thing ever is coming home at the end of the day and having a little baby bouncing out of his high chair because he is so happy to see you. What a warm welcome home.

I am still nursing Eli three times a day and treasuring our time together before he will be completely weaned. It goes so fast! I am not stressing myself out about how much he is nursing vs. how much formula he is getting when I'm not here. I refuse to feel guilty about it. Three times a day is keeping me stress free while still letting me enjoy these last few months of nursing.

The countdown is on. About two weeks left before I turn 30. I don't even care really. I mean I love my birthday and all, having an excuse to indulge in some time to myself (and maybe a few gifts for myself!) but 30 isn't scary. Maybe after the day has come and gone I will feel differently....I'll let you know in a few weeks.

Playground update: 60 signatures!!! 40 to go. The hardest thing is finding time to go out and collect them. A lot of the signatures are people who don't have any interest in the playground, but are signing anyway. Great! And then there are people who have been in complete support and offering their time to help in any way they can, which is amazing!!! It also confirms to me that I'm not crazy, and there are others who feel the same way I do. I just have to keep at it, get my signatures and then move onto getting support from the community association. To be continued.....

Kienan

As I'm sure you are all aware, a 3 year old boy has been abducted from his home in Sparwood, BC. From his own bed, while he was sleeping. His parents put him to bed the night before and the next morning he was gone. News reports said that he was carrying numerous blankets with him.

This is my biggest personal fear. That one of my boys will be abducted in the middle of the night. Our windows and doors are locked every night and our house alarm with motion detector is set just to put my mind at ease so I can sleep knowing they are safe. Sometimes I am still kept awake thinking of the what if's.

My heart aches for this family. I look at Kienan's picture and he reminds me so much of Lucas. HE IS ONLY 3 YEARS OLD. That's so little. A scared little boy who probably just wants to go home. I don't even want to think about what the abductor's intentions were when he took him.

I have been checking the news religiously in hopes that he has been found, safe, sound and untouched.

PLEASE FIND THIS LITTLE BOY:

August

I'm tired of summer.

What a horrible thing to say. But it's true. Summer is exhausting.

I feel like all I do is pack and unpack bags to go places. I've got the 1-3 hour bag, the all-day bag, and don't even get me started on the overnight bags.....our whole house is pretty much packed up if we have to stay anywhere overnight. Which is why on Friday when I was packing our bags for the zillionth time, I wasn't nearly as excited as I should be for a weekend away at the lake. One of Terry's friends generously invited us out to their cabin for the weekend and all I could think of was....I just want to stay home.

But I would have missed out on one of the best weekends of the summer. We did all of the fun summer things one should do at the lake. Lucas played on the beach for two days straight. We had a fire and made smores. I went waterskiing for the first time since I was 12 (and got up on my first try.....applause please). I solidified my summer tan. It was an awesome weekend. A perfect way to say goodbye to summer. I know summer isn't over and the whole month of September is usually awesome for weather, but I'm calling it. My summer is over tonight. I just can't take any more fun!!!!

The whole month of August has been a complete blur. Chock-full of family get-togethers and events and much welcome company. But I am really looking forward to the routine of September. I am back full-time at work and I will miss Lucas and Eli terribly (as I do every day I work), but the routine of it all is comforting.

But they will be home with their Dad!!! Terry is taking the last 3 months of my mat leave and staying home with the boys. I'm so excited for Terry to have some time at home with his sons. I also think it will give him a deeper appreciation for what I did the whole time I was at home with them and how difficult it can be at times. But also how great.

Update on my quest for a better playground in our neighborhood:

I hoped to have 100 signatures on my petition for a preschool play structure to present at the community association meeting at the end of this month. Summer got in the way and I was only able to go out once to collect signatures. But 25 signatures in an hour isn't bad. I had 25 yeses and only one no. I may or may not be holding a grudge against my neighbor who didn't want to sign....we'll see how neighborly I will be if she ever comes over to borrow a cup of sugar. Just kidding. I hope to get out soon to collect more signatures, and I am still waiting to hear back from my city councilor and president of the community association. So far so good!!

The Beginning of Something Positive

As you may have read in my last post, my Grandpa recently passed away at the age of 92. Sitting at his funeral, and listening intently to the eulogy my aunt and uncle had prepared, it really hit home for me how much my Grandpa must have done for his small community of Harris, SK. It was very inspiring to hear the list of committees and boards he sat on and events he was involved in, and I'm sure I only know the tip of the iceberg. He went on to become a MLA of Rosetown-Biggar for four years, and had the opportunity to serve alongside Tommy Douglas. One of the highlights of his career was voting in universal heath care in Saskatchewan. Isn't that amazing?!?!?

Hearing about all he did for Harris gave me the impression that by living in a small community, a person becomes more invested and committed to making the place you live better.

It got me thinking about what I can do in my community. Saskatoon is no small town. Would anyone even notice? Is that the point? Where do I even start? I want to start making small but positive changes for my community but what can I do? I work full time and have a family, will I even have time for this?

I have been thinking about this ever since my grandpa's funeral. Then today an opportunity arose.

Our family recently moved to a new area of Saskatoon. We were very excited to learn that there is a neighbourhood pocket park being constructed right on our block. Around the corner from our house! I imagined taking my two preschool aged boys to the park after supper on summer evenings to tire them out before bedtime and meeting other young moms in my neighbourhood who were doing the same.

And then all of my park dreams were dashed. Today we saw the playground equipment that is being put in. It is a giant blue octopus for climbing and hanging with space saucers for swings. Nothing in the playground is appropriate or useable for pre-school or young elementary kids. No slide, no swings. Have you ever heard of a park without a slide or swings? I haven't. This was the first park of it's kind I had seen anywhere, why did it have to be in my neighbourhood?!?!

This made me angry but it also made me want to do something. I went home and did a little research on the City of Saskatoon website. In the Park Development Guidelines for Neighbourhood Pocket Parks, it specifically states that play structures are intended for preschool aged children. I want my preschool park!!!

Consider this my first step into the ring of community involvement:

I am going to petition the city to change the existing play structure to something more suitable for preschoolers.

Now I need a plan of action. I don't normally do things like this. In fact, I have never done anything like this. Sure I have coached a few community soccer teams in my day, but nothing like this. Do others in my community share the same view? I know there are a lot of very young families in my neighbourhood. I think a good place to start is petitioning my neighbours. I just hope they don't think of me as the annoying, crazy park lady from down the street!

This is the beginning of something positive. Even if I fail it will be a journey. I want to be active in my community and this is a great starting point. If anything it will be a way to meet my neighbours (even though they may not want to talk to me after they realize that I AM the crazy park lady from down the street). Can you make New Year's resolutions in July? Of course you can.

My resolution is to do positive things for my community. This is different from just being a positive, happy person. It is about taking action by doing. I hope to volunteer for my community association. Find out ways that families in my neighbourhood and others in Saskatoon need help and how to fit it all in to my already busy life. I want to do things big and small and recruit others along the way that will inspire me to continue.

In what ways do you get involved in your community? Any tips or ideas for others looking to get involved?

If you would like to sign my online petition to show your support for a more appropriate play structure, please click here.

Grandpa Stevens

My Grandpa passed away yesterday. He would have been 92 this August.


Grandpa was a great guy and will be truly missed. I have fond memories growing up of going out to Harris, SK to Grandma and Grandpa Stevens house. If you were lucky, Grandpa would take you for a ride on his riding lawnmower, or take you for an evening drive through the sand hills to see all of the white-tailed deer. He loved his grandchildren, and I am fortunate that he got to meet Lucas and Eli.

He was a smart, well-spoken gentleman. He would have loved to attend university but never had the opportunity to do so, having to stay at home and work on the farm. Grandpa was always happy to hear about our achievements at school, and encouraged us all to further our education.

Grandpa was elected MLA of Rosetown and served from 1960-1964. He sided with the NDP, and many times when I have been unsure of who to vote for, I have voted NDP just for Grandpa.

I went up to the hospital the day before he passed away, not knowing how soon he would be gone. He was no longer the strong, sharp guy I knew. I held his hand and told him how much we all loved him and how proud of him we are. I told him that he should be so proud of his family and all of his grandchildren. He wasn't able to speak to me, but he squeezed my hand and wiped a tear from his eye. Something that I will always remember.

In the days to come, I am looking forward to hearing many stories about my Grandpa from my aunts, uncles and relatives. He did a lot for his community and his family, and should be very proud of the life he lived.